We hear a lot about the focus on the “pre-game show” called foreplay.  To me foreplay is just part of the sexual experience, intercourse doesn’t always have to be the main event or even included in sex.  If there is a “pre-game”, then what about “post-game”?

I love to expand the definition of sex to me sex includes foreplay, afterplay and everything in between.  Sex can be with myself or it can be with another person or people.

If we separate sex out into moments say – foreplay, intercourse and afterplay then the most overlooked aspect is afterplay!

What you do after intercourse is just as important to what you do before!

Here are 5 ways that you can enhance your after sex experience:

• It’s not over at orgasm!  Why stop there?  Your body is super heightened, you’ve got feel good hormones rushing through.  You can go for another orgasm or you could start to lightly stroke your own body or your lover’s body with your fingertips.  This spreads feel good sensation all over and increases bonding.
• Why not cuddle?  Cuddling together is a wonderful way to share the moment.  Cuddle and stroke each other, you can include the genitals, kissing and breasts in this cuddle to keep the fire stoked.  You may just find that you build up and want to go another round.
• Erotic massage is excellent for afterplay.  We often think of erotic massage before you have sex, but after intercourse it can be a wonderful way to connect and teach the body that it can stay in prolonged states of arousal.
• Pillow Talk and Touch – there is nothing wrong with sharing some intimate, vulnerable talk after having a great intercourse experience.  Keep touching, stroking, and kissing as you share what was great about your time together.
• Oral Sex – I love to have oral sex after intercourse both giving and receiving.  Mix it up a bit and have oral sex after intercourse and then move back to intercourse and back to oral sex.  Let the oral sex be the finisher and then move into one of the other tips above.  If I theme the sex all about tasting I might end this with some succulent fruit or chocolate, feeding each other in bed.

The important point is to not just jump up and go back to what you were doing a moment ago (unless of course this is a quickie and that’s the point).  You want that time to indulge in coming down from the peak or building back up to the next one.  This is how I would create 10-15 hour sexual experiences!

What are some things you like to do after sex?

Jaiya is an award-winning somatic sexologist.