I’m not a dude, but I’ve certainly dated enough of ‘em to know that straight men rarely, if ever, talk about masturbation. It’s almost as though male masturbation is some type of unspoken “m word” that remains off-limits, even though female masturbation has gone totally mainstream, with numerous podcasts, TV shows, and magazines focused on the female “O.” 

As a woman, this is a somewhat difficult concept to process.  I mean, part of me wants to celebrate this dichotomy as a small win for female empowerment - after all, it took us centuries of oppression, perseverance, strength and unadulterated self-love to get to a place where we can talk freely and openly about our sexuality, sexual desires, and our ability to “get off” on our own without feeling guilty.  Hell, there is not a day that goes by that vibrators and/or dildos aren’t discussed in pop culture, and I love that!  But then there’s another part of me, which speaks even louder, that wants to tell all men (particularly straight men) that they, too, can feel good about masturbation.  In fact, they can feel fucking GREAT about it!   So, here I am, as a straight woman who dates straight men, saying that I think all men should dump those out-of-date feelings associated with masturbating like worry and shame, and replace them with… a sex toy.  Yeah, I said it!  #TreatYoSelf

Now, for all you ladies reading this blog post thinking, “OMG, I would never want my man gettin’ it on with a blow up doll,” I need you to keep an open mind here.  Because you, too, may be caught up in the age-old stigma that makes men feel guilty or desperate each time they want to jerk it.  So, allow me to lay out three amazing reasons why all men should have a sex toy.

1)   Sex toys break down barriers.  As both women and the LGBTQ community are evolving and making great strides to change cultural norms when it comes to sex and sexuality, straight men should refuse be left behind with old feelings of “what it means to be a man.”  Sex toys are an empowering way for men to break down those existing and mega-old-school barriers.

2)   Sex toys encourage exploration and learning.  When it comes to sex, there is always something new and exciting to explore.  For men, sex toys can provide an opportunity -  in a private setting - to try new things like anal beads, prostate stimulators and rings...all fun things that may eventually make their way into a shared sexual encounter.

3)   Sex toys teach new techniques.  How to delay orgasm, how to have multiple orgasms, and how to focus on other areas of the body besides the penis; these are all incredible learning experiences that sex toys offer that enhance the sex life of a couple.  Sounds fun, doesn’t it?!?

At the end of the day, we all have a right to feel good, both mentally and physically.  And call me crazy, but I think sex toys help both men and women achieve both - and that, my friends, is empowering. 

~ Miranda Buzzlove