Crap, we’re already well into December! You know what that means?  It’s time to get gifts, gifts and more gifts! Thankfully, I love picking out gifts for people. I just hate receiving them! Like, thanks for the white turtleneck, Aunt Marge. It’s totes flattering on me. NOT!

My friends are stressing out about buying holiday presents for their loved ones, family and friends. I get it, the first few weeks of December are busy and pressure-filled. What do you get for your friend who works out (and talks about working out) 24/7?  What about that one friend who only likes things that are boujee AF? And what’s the best gift for your single friend who talks about Tinder like it’s her job?

If you’re like me and want to give gifts that keep on giving (wink wink), you’ve come to the right place. Without further ado, welcome to my 2018 holiday gift guide – sex toy edition!  

For your friend who’s bringing her s.o. home to meet the ‘rents 

If you’ve ever brought your significant other home for the holidays to meet your parents, you probably know it’s nerve-racking, but also exciting. If you have a friend who can relate, gift her a remote control vibrator! This gives her the ability to sneak in a little fun and a big O, even if her parents make them sleep in separate rooms. This remote-control vibrator ($59.99) is a fun couple’s hack when your partner is in the room down the hall.  

For your exercise-obsessed friend 

The Impulse E-Stimulator Remote Kegel Exerciser ($99.99) mixes pleasure and exercise, so your friend who spends most of her time in the gym won’t have an excuse not to squeeze in a quick masturbation session. Impulse’s electro-stimulation technology helps tone and strengthen the Kegel muscles responsible for arousal and climax. Tell your friend to get off the treadmill and then GET OFF with Impulse. She’s in for a wild and “shocking” ride!

For your man 

Dudes can have sex toys, too, people! This Hydro Power Stroker ($76.99) is a perfect gift for any guy that likes to get off.  And, you can even stick it on the shower wall. It’s a little something to remind him of you when you’re not around and from what I’ve heard, it’s a pure pleasure experience.

For the adventurous couple 

If you know a couple that likes to shake things up in the bedroom, the Dual Exciter Enhancer ($39.99) is the perfect gift to add a new sense of pleasure to their routine. He’ll feel amazing and so we’ll she, and you’ll have the satisfaction of making that happen.  You devil! ;)

For your single, naughty friend

Every single girl should have a Jack Rabbit ($77.99), in my opinion. It has a shaft, a bunny-shaped clitoral teaser and, quite frankly, can provide more companionship than some partners, LOL. When your single friend unwraps this toy, she’ll be reminded that she is perfectly fine on her own. Jack never disappoints.

For your friend who’s boujee AF

Some of us like the finer things in life…like diamonds and Tiffany blue.  With the Pavé Marilyn ($125.98), you can have the best of both worlds. They do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend! A close second would be a vibrator.  Hellz yes!

For your friend who’s a vibrator virgin

If your friend is new to the sex toy game (welcome to the party, girl!) get her something simple. The Mini Marvels Teaser ($59.99) is the perfect intro to vibrators. The smooth vibrating massager fits right between your fingertips and lets you easily control the settings. Plus, it’s just so damn cute!

For White Elephant/Secret Santa

You wanna know what the ultimate task is? Finding a secret santa or white elephant gift for under $15 that isn’t ugly, cheesy or something you’re just gonna throw in the back of your closet and never see it again. If you want to show up with the most desired gift that one of your lucky friends is going to go home with, the Pocket Vibrating Silver Bullet ($8.99) is the way to go. It spices up a white elephant exchange and guaranteed, everyone secretly (or not so secretly) wants it.

Give your friends the gift of pleasure this holiday season. It’s only awkward to gift sex toys if YOU make it awkward. Most people will appreciate the gesture. Just avoid gifting sex toys to your work colleagues and ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends, peeps. Wouldn’t want to send the wrong message now, would we!? And hey, get one for yourself too. We could all benefit from some hot orgasms during the cold winter months.

– Miranda Buzzlove