It’s about time I told y’all about the first time I pegged a man! (How have I not told you about this yet?) Spoiler alert: it was incredible...and surprisingly thought provoking. So without further ado, here’s how it all went down.  

I was dirty-talking with my guy about anal play one night, and naturally we got on the topic of pegging. As it turns out, pegging was something he had been wanting to try for a long time, but hadn’t worked up the courage to ask for yet. After thinking about it in my horned-up state, I got really excited by the idea of penetrating my man. Gender roles were made to be challenged and the bedroom is no place to stop, my friends. So after the “official conversation” was out in the open, we quickly made our way to our local sex shop to buy our first pegging set...and LOTS of lube, mmmmkayyy! The anticipation was to die for, but it was SO worth it because he had an earth-shattering orgasm, and I left our sexcapade with an enlightened perspective on pleasure.

As someone who has gone there (more times than I can count now), here are my pegging tips and takeaways:

1. Communication is a must! We know communication is crucial when it comes to all types of sex, but I feel the need to emphasize it here and any time you are trying something new or adventurous in the bedroom. Communication before, during and after is important, but with pegging, I find communication during sex to be of utmost importance because it’s a lot harder to gauge your movements since the peg doesn’t have any nerve-endings (duh)!  So, be communicative with your words and don’t be shy about asking your partner how it’s feeling and if you can do anything to enhance the experience. Also, be attentive to body language and if your partner is pulling away, speeding up or slowing down, find out why. A little question here and there is helpful - and it can be a super hot way to incorporate some dirty talk!    

2. Find the right accessories for you.  First things first, you have to get yourself a pegging set! Here’s is what I got; I personally like how the lingerie makes me feel versus a harness. If you are interested in the idea of pegging, but not quite sure if you are there yet, I recommend trying other anal play first to warm up to the idea. Anal plugs, beads, and probes - they are all great! Also, it is not at all required, but anal douching beforehand might help you feel more comfortable if the “poop thing” grosses you out. You can get a kit here with all the necessities - and it’s super easy and safe.

3. Warm up with some foreplay and lube. If you are just as excited as we were to get pegging, it might be tempting to skip out on the foreplay or the lube. DON’T! Butts do not self-lubricate and they need time to loosen or you can get seriously hurt. If you read my last post, you know just how much I love lube. I really do, especially for anal play. I recommend using a thicker lube like this one that’s designed specifically with anal play in mind. To warm up, I like to start with my finger or a butt plug before inserting the pegging toy. At the end of the day, don’t speed up the process. Foreplay can make you feel comfortable, relaxed and kinky - all the great elements for a successful peg sesh.

4. Experiment with positions. After my man was all warmed up and ready to go that first time, he got down on all fours to do it doggy-style -- now he was really begging for a pegging! Doggy-style was a great option for our first time because I got a really good view of what I was doing so I could easily insert the toy, control the movement, and slap his ass (damn right, I did)! Other great options we’ve come to know and love are missionary, side-saddle, cowboy, and reverse cowboy. But those didn’t come until the fifth or sixth attempt. Long story short - try a few and see what works best for you!

5. Find pleasure in providing pleasure.  I have to be honest, physically, I didn’t get much out of pegging at first, but that’s not the point. It’s really more about the emotional experience of providing pleasure to another. My favorite part was seeing how much he enjoyed it; seeing him let go of expectations and succumb to pleasure turned me on more than his touch could that day. I also loved the ability to play with switching traditional gender roles as a person in a heteronormative relationship. Penetration gave me a new sort of control (not to be confused with dominance) that I had never before experienced in sex. We both got a glimpse as to what sex might be like for each other, which provided a unique intimacy and brought us closer as a couple. Especially because we talked about it afterwards (which is also key, don’t forget)!

Is your man begging for pegging and you aren’t sure if you’re ready to take the leap? I say give it go and live on the wild side!  If I can do it (and enjoy it this much), so can you!  

~ Miranda Buzzlove