If you know me, you know I love listening to rap and R&B music 24/7. Partially because of the great vocalists out there, but mostly because 80 percent of the lyrics are about sex and talking dirty, and the lyrics give me great inspiration for when I want to say some nasty things to my partner during foreplay and sex. So, in the words of Jason Derulo, “Talk dirty to me!”

A lot of people are insanely turned on by dirty talk (including myself), and science actually shows that talking dirty to your partner during sex increases sexual pleasure and satisfaction. The most important piece of advice I can offer you about the art of talking dirty is don’t let the pressure get to you. It’s OK to feel silly and even laugh with your partner if you’re just starting to incorporate dirty talk into your sex routine. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, right? RIGHT!

Here are some tips to follow if you want to feel like a rockstar the next time you bring on the dirty talk. 

Whisper

Whether you’re an absolute pro at talking dirty in the bedroom or just a beginner, whispering makes everything 10 times sexier! Even if you say something easy like “I love the way your lips feel against mine,” or “I wanna make you cum,” whispering right next to your partner’s ear is a fantastic way to turn up the heat.   

Keep it Simple 

When it comes to turning up the heat with dirty talk, verbally expressing how you feel in the moment is a great place to start. It doesn’t have to be insanely detailed, just ease into it by saying what you want to do to your partner, or what you want your partner to do to you. Confidence is f-ing sexy, so saying simple things with passion and confidence is definitely hot. 

Think About All Five Senses

Using all five senses is a great way to elevate your sex life, and talking dirty definitely introduces “hearing” in to the mix. Love it when you feel your partner’s lips on your thighs? Say that aloud. Love the way your partner tastes? Tell them! Love the sound of your partner’s moans? Please, tell them what you love! You can also speak what you want to say by saying something like, “I want to see you go down on me.” 

Flattery Gets You Everywhere 

I always say flattery will get you far in life. And it’s no different when it comes to sex. Who doesn’t love being complimented during sex? I sure as hell do! Validate your partner when they do something that feels good, or when you want them to do more of it. Say things like, “I like it when you kiss my neck,” or “That feels so good,” to assure them that you’re enjoying the heck out of it!  

Talk Dirty on the Phone

Talking dirty while texting or FaceTiming is a great way to spice things up when your partner isn’t around. It’s also a really great way to keep the fire burning if you’re in a long-distance relationship. If your partner lives in a different city and you don’t have the luxury of being with them every day, throw in some sexting or phone sex. I dated a guy long distance once and we ADORED the whole FaceTime sex thing. I would lay there with my Jack Rabbit and he would tell me all the things he wanted me to do with it. He’d throw in a little, “I wish it was me inside of you,” or “I can’t wait ‘til you’re doing this with me next to you,” and woooo-weeee, that’s how we kept the attraction strong when we were apart!

So, the next time things are heating up in the bedroom and you want to spice it up, even more, let loose and speak (or whisper) what’s on your mind!  

- Miranda Buzzlove