Romance is the language of love. If love is the feeling of connection, caring, admiration, attraction, and lust we feel for another person then romance is the action that communicates and expresses those feelings. Romance is really important.

This is a common refrain I’ve heard from folks in February:

“I’m not doing anything for Valentine’s Day because I don’t need an arbitrary holiday as an excuse to express my love when I’m romantic all throughout the year!”

Me in August:

Are you, though? Are you really romantic all throughout the year? When’s the last time you were?

If you’re in love, but reading this right now with that teeth-bearing emoji face and thinking…. “umm… yikes, I don’t remember…” then National Romance Awareness Month is your new excuse to make sure your sweetheart is feeling your love.

Consider these romance tips and get your romance on ASAP. There’s still 5 days left in August!

1. What are you trying to say?

Consider the message you’re trying to relay and how you want your partner to feel, because again, romance is the language. Are you hoping they will feel special with your romantic gesture? Lusted after? Appreciated? Something else? Let that be your guide.

2. Incorporate their love language.

If, for instance, you want to convey your support to your partner after they’ve had a bad day, coming home with flowers is super romantic for someone whose Love Language is Receiving Gifts.

But something like filling up their car with gas might be more warmly felt by a partner whose Love Language is Acts of Service. A sticky note on the bathroom mirror that says “I’m sorry you had a tough day. You always have my love and support” is gold for a Words of Affirmation person. A tender shoulder rub would likely make a Physical Touch partner very much feel the support you’re trying to convey, and clearing your evening and listing empathetically while they talk about their bad day is ultra-romantic if your sweetheart is a Quality Time person.

If you don’t know their Love Language- find out by having them take this quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

3. Utilize the element of surprise

A romantic gesture is made larger by the element of surprise. Even something as simple and not classically romantic as eating fast food is communicated more romantically if you took them for a drive, didn’t tell them where you were going, pulled up to their favorite fast food joint and said “I thought you could use a treat, order whatever you want”. 

A surprise kiss at a red light, a surprise dinner you made when it was their turn to cook, a surprise flower weed you picked while going for a walk together, a surprise new vibrator you picked out for and left waiting in their bedside drawer, are all beautifully romantic ways of communicating your love.

4. The delivery

Sometimes the delivery is as important, or even more important, than the actual romantic thing. So if you feel like you “just aren’t romantic” you can really dress up the delivery to make your message heard loud and clear.

Boil your feels right down to the words you want to convey- “I appreciate you”, “I support you”, “I love you”, “I’m so attracted to you”, etc. but deliver those words in a unique way.

• Write it in icing on a cake.
• Spell it out with your finger on their back during a massage.
• Put each word in an envelope and send them on a scavenger hunt throughout your house to put the message together.
• Hire a skywriter.
• Spell it out with rose petals on your bed.
• Send it in a text using only emojis.
• Find a greeting card that says exactly how you feel and write “THIS!!!!” at the bottom.
• Order them a custom printed wine glass, make-up bag, ballpoint pen, refrigerator magnet, golf ball, whatever they are interested in I guarantee there’s a company out there that custom prints on it- and get your feelings printed with “Love, Your Name”.

5. Make sure it’s from the heart

It can be big or small. Expensive or free. Take you hours to plan or be something you do on a whim. You can’t go wrong if it’s authentic and from the heart.