Prostate (P-spot) Massage for Beginners

One of my favorite things in the world is giving prostate massages. In my work as a body-based sexologist, I have educated many people on how to massage prostate (P-spot) and the joys and pleasures of prostate play.

 The very first step you need to know is how to find it. Here are 3 steps to help you:

Step One: Arousal

• The more aroused your partner is, the easier it will be to find his P-spot, because it swells.
• Stimulation of his penis, oral sex, kissing — basically, following your lover’s erotic blueprint —  are all ways to increase arousal.
• His being relaxed and feeling safe knowing he won’t be judged, are also important.

Step Two: Relaxation & Lubrication

• The mistake I see most people make is that they rush the process, decreasing arousal, and they don’t get deep enough into a turned-on body. For satisfying P-spot play, you need patience and presence.
• Make sure to use enough lubricant, but not so much that it results in your rushing the process.
• I usually start with a great external anal massage. Remember that there are two anal sphincters: External (on the outside) and internal (on the inside).

• The prostate gland is located behind the internal anal sphincter.

Step Three: Ocean

• The P-Spot is like an island; you can actually make a circle all the way around it. And just like in nature, the “island” may not be perfectly circular.
• To help you find the right spot, focus on locating the ocean and the island.
• Not all P-spots are the same size. Prostate size depends on various things like inflammation in the body, arousal levels, circulation and overall prostate health. Feel around for a rougher-surfaced, swollen area that you can draw a circle around.
• Not everyone’s fingers are long enough for this, so similar to the g-spot, you might try just looking for “valleys” on either side.

On your first try, finding and playing with the P-spot can feel less-than-amazing. There may be nervousness on his part about getting aroused here and about experiencing unfamiliar sensations. This can lead to tension. To ease this stress, mix in some penis touching, which is familiar to him.

Be sure to check your expectations. P-spot stimulation firstly involves exploration to find where it’s located, not having a mind-blowing sensual experience the first time. Just give it a try, and if the mind-blowing experience happens — awesome!

 Jaiya is an award-winning somatic sexologist.